The Terrible Breech, From the Archives

D. E. Larsen, DVM

“Doc, this is Peter, out on Brush Creek,” Peter says on the phone. “I have been working on trying to pull this calf for two hours now. I am not getting anywhere. Do you have time to run out here and give me a hand?”

“Sure, I can come right away,” I said. “You caught me just at the right time. What is going on with her.”

“This morning, I noticed her with her tail up and sort of standing around a little odd,” Peter said. “When I ran her into the barn and got her tied up, I saw this tail hanging out of her. I cleaned her up like you always do and started working. There is just this butt of the calf in the birth canal. I can’t get ahold of anything.”

“Sounds like you have a calf in a full breech position,” I said. “I should be able to take care of that with little problem. At this point in time, almost all of these calves are dead. I mention that just so you know. When the calf is in a full breech, there is nothing to engage the cervix. The cow doesn’t usually go into hard labor for a day or sometimes two.”

“I can understand that,” Peter said. “But we have to get it out of there. I would guess you might have to do a C-section.”

“That all depends. Most of the time, I can get the hind legs up and just pull the calf. If not, I usually do a fetotomy. I don’t like to do a C-section on a dead calf unless there is no other option.”

“I have her in the barn. There is no need to stop at the house,” Peter said.

Peter and his young son, Tom, were waiting at the barn door when I pulled up in my truck. Peter was in his late 40s and usually looked too well dressed to be a rancher. Today, that was not the case. His hat was sitting crooked on his head, and it failed to conceal his uncombed hair. He had a swab of blood and mucus across his forehead. Both sleeves of his shirt were bloodied to his shoulders.

“Tom, it looks like your dad has been working hard this morning,” I said.

“He is pretty tired,” Tom said.

“I don’t know how you guys do it?” Peter said. “I have been at this for two hours, and the only thing I have accomplished is to wear myself out.”

“There are a few tricks to learn,” I said. “The most important thing to learn in bovine obstetrics is to set a clock on yourself. If you haven’t accomplished anything in 20 minutes, you need to do something else. That means you should have called me about an hour and a half ago.”

“That’s what Mom said,” Tom said.

“Well, that is enough of the storytelling. Let me get a look at what we have going on,” I said.

Working on a cow that the owner has struggled with for two hours has its own set of hazards. The untrained hands can do all sorts of damage. I have seen ruptured uteruses, broken legs on the calves, and gross contamination of the whole track. That meant I had to check for all of that first, or it would fall on my shoulders.

“I see you have her cleaned up well. That is a good thing.”

“I have watched you before,” Peter said. 

I washed the cow one more time and ran my hand into her vagina. The vagina and what uterus I could easily reach were intact. The calf’s rear end sort of worked like a cork in the birth canal. I stuck a finger in its rectum. No response; this was a dead calf.

“The calf is dead like I explained on the phone,” I said.

“How did you determine that so fast?” Peter asked.

“I stuck my finger in his butt. If he was alive, he would have responded to that. No response equals a dead calf.”

I ran my hand down under the calf. I could reach the hocks with no problem. Peter had stretched out the birth canal in his earlier efforts. I had no trouble getting down and grabbing a cannon bone. With a firm grip on the middle of the cannon bone, I pushed the hock forward to provide room to pull the hoof up into the birth canal. In one motion, I pulled the leg back, and the foot popped out of the vulva. I quickly reached in and repeated the process on the second leg. Now it was a simple extraction in posterior presentation.

“Doc, you embarrass me,” Peter said. “I have been working on her for two hours, and you come along and have the feet out in two minutes, and that includes time for some idle conversation.”

“It is just a matter of knowing a few tricks of the trade,” I said. “Give me a hand. I think we can pull this guy out of here with no problem.”

Tom was quick to jump in to help. At twelve, he was getting strong enough to consider himself almost a man. With the two of us, we quickly pulled the calf. It flopped lifelessly on the ground, and the membranes followed with a splatter of fluid. Tom jumped back, trying to avoid the mess, but it was too late. His pant legs were covered with fluid and mucus.

“One more lesson for today,” I said. “You always want to go back and check the cow. You check for another calf, and you check for any injury to the birth canal. Today, because you worked on her for so long, I will put some antibiotics into that uterus. That probably makes me feel better than it does her any good. Whatever I put in will drain out in a couple of hours.”

I finished up and cleaned up, and we turned the cow out.

“You want to watch her closely for a day or two. Just in case she develops an infection in her uterus.”

“And Tom, it was a good experience for you to be surprised by that splash of fluid. When I was in the delivery room with our first baby, I was surprised at the gush of blood that came with the membranes.”

Tom didn’t say anything but looked at his pant legs with a frown.

“Can I put another calf on her?” Peter asked.

“Sure, most cows will take another calf,” I said. “If you have an orphan or buy one at the sale. There are all sorts of tricks. Keep them in a small pen for a few days. Maybe take the skin off that dead calf’s back and tie it around the new calf, or smear the new calf with the membranes.”

“I will give it a try,” Peter said. “And thanks, Doc. You are good at the things that you do.”

Photo by Erik Mclean from Pexels.

My Christmases in the Army, from the Archives 

D. E. Larsen, DVM

“Company D, Private Drake speaking, can I help you,” Bill answered the phone on a snowy Christmas Eve in 1965. Bill and I were pulling CQ (charge of quarters) duty for Company D, a duty company for troops waiting for school at Fort Devens.

We were a couple of lucky ones; we were permanent CQs. We were given private squad rooms in the old World War Two barracks that housed an overload of troops in the considerable build-up of Vietnam forces. We worked in twenty-four hours shifts, with forty-eight hours off.

“Yes, I know a couple of guys who would be interested,” Bill said.

“What are you getting us into now,” I asked? I was not expecting an answer, but Bill was always quick to volunteer my services.

“We can meet you at Battalion Headquarters by eight-fifteen. We don’t get relieved until eight, but we should be able to make that schedule.”

Bill hung up the phone and looked at me with a big smile on his face.

“We have a Christmas dinner to go to tomorrow,” Bill said. “We have to be in Class A uniforms and meet the Battalion CQ at Headquarters by eight-fifteen.”

“Where are we going,” I asked?

“Does it matter? It is going to be better than eating Christmas dinner at the mess hall and sleeping for most of the day.”

Bill and I took turns going to the barracks, showering, and changing into our Class A uniform at six in the morning. When we were relieved by the next CQ crew, we walked through the snow the half a dozen blocks to Battalion Headquarters.

I imagined that we looked somewhat like Mutt and Jeff. Bill was six-four and had a heavy black shadow on his face even though he had shaved a couple of hours before. And I was trying to match his stride, and I had to stretch to measure five-eight.

The Battalion CQ was a Specialist four who had been in the Army for several years. He was waiting at the doorstep and fell in with us.

“We meet them at the main gate in fifteen minutes,” Stan said.

Bill and I were mismatched on height, but we were both in good shape and trim. Stan was taller than me and somewhat well-rounded.

“The main gate is over a mile,” Bill said as he lengthened his stride. I was used to matching his long stride, Stan sort of looked like a young kid who had to take four steps and then run four steps to keep pace.

By the time we reached the main gate, the snow was probably close to four inches deep. Mr. Terhune was waiting across the street in his VW van, and he had a couple of preteen boys with him. Getting into the warm van was a welcome relief.

We drove to their house in Groton, some four miles distant. The Terhune’s had four kids, and the oldest was their daughter, a freshman in high school, and three younger boys. We had dinner, which Bill jumped right into the kitchen to help prepare. Then we spent the afternoon and evening telling stories and enjoying the Company.

Having just pulled twenty-four hours of duty, a full day of eating, and storytelling, I was asleep before my head hit the pillow that night. But it was Christmas to remember, and the Terhune’s remained friends and a place to escape to for the entire year we were at Devens.

Christmas in Korea was a different event but just as memorable. I arrived in Korea in the middle of September 1966, and I was well adjusted to the country by Christmas. I was stationed south of Seoul with the 177th USASA Company. I spent a lot of my free time at the orphanage we supported in An Song.

A group of us spent Christmas Eve at the orphanage. Following dinner, the group of the primary school kids continued my lessons in Korean. The little girls were very serious about this instruction. They would frown when the boys were hysterical over my pronunciation of even the simplest words.

We did a Santa for the kids with toys purchased by the guys at the 177th. The kids all went to midnight mass, so it was late when they got to bed. 

On Christmas morning, we loaded everyone up and took them to Camp Humphreys for Christmas dinner with the entire Company. Before dinner, all the staff and the older kids had the opportunity to take showers in the barracks. That was probably the best present we could give them. Then dinner in the mess hall and entertainment in the NCO club. All the kids were well worn out when we loaded them onto the trucks for the trip home.

The next morning the young kids were hanging all over me. It was apparent the kids didn’t want us to go. The staff was still in a state of euphoria from their day at the company compound. But we loaded up in the trucks for the drive back to the Company. I opened the window and shouted goodbye to the kids in Korean.

“Annyeong,” I said. The boys almost rolled on the ground, but the girls laughed and waved.

 The drive back to base seemed longer than usual as we rolled down a dusty dirt road lined with dry rice paddies. My mind did drift back home with only a twinge of homesickness.

My experience in Germany was different still. I arrived in Germany in the middle of December 1967. Even though I had friends from Fort Devens there, I really had no time to settle into an off-duty routine before Christmas. My first Christmas in Germany was spent on the base at Rothwesten. Christmas dinner at the mess hall was well done and accompanied by some German carolers. The evening I spent at the NCO club, again filled with entertainment. It was less than ideal, but it was a pretty good day.

Christmas in 1968 found me in Schöningen, a small village on the East German border. I was stationed at Wobeck, a significant border electronic listening post, with about seventy of us stationed there. Christmas here was super. The town went all out on their decorations and festivities, and there was a Christmas spirit everywhere. 

We had a major Christmas Eve party at our ‘Swing Club’ in the Banhof Hotel. The club was not supposed to make a profit, so it had to give away a lot of booze to make sure the books came out even for the year. Needless to say, there were a few drunk GIs.

A couple of us were invited to Christmas dinner at Howey and Holley’s house. Wives were a recent addition at Schöningen. Until recently, only men without dependants were stationed there. Holley was the best cook that I had seen since my mother. Howey was very drunk at the end of the party, and we had to help Holley get him into the car.

They lived in Wolsdorf, a small village a few miles out of Schöningen. They had an upstairs apartment in a new house, still under construction. It was built on a hillside, and there were three stories with a high porch to the entry on the middle level. The steps and porch were new and not completely finished. There was no railing on the steps or porch.

When we arrived at one in the afternoon for dinner, Holley was slow to answer the door, and she looked like she was running on empty.

“Are you okay,” I asked? “You look like you have been cooking all night.

“I feel like it. We had quite a time at the party last night,” Holley said. “And my night was just starting when we left.”

“You know, we can find a place to eat in town,” I said. “You don’t have to wear yourself out to feed us.”

“I should have had you guys help me get Howey home last night,” Holley said. “Let me tell you the story.”

“When we got to the house, it was not too hard for me to get him out of the car. And I sort of kept him against the wall as we struggled up the steps to the porch. We made it up here with no problem. I stood Howey up on the porch, then I turned around and unlocked the front door. When I turned back around, he was gone. There he was, ten feet below, spread eagle in the snow and mud.”

“Is he okay,” Kurt asked? “That is a long way to fall.”

“He was too drunk to get hurt. But that was just the start of it. I had to get him up out of the snow and mud, back up the stairs, and then up the stairs to the apartment.”

“It looks like you made it,” I said. 

“Yes, I made, but there was a trail of snow and mud all the way. There was mud on the wall going up the stairs. You know how the Germans are. They would kick us out of here for such a mess. So there I am, in the middle of the night, mopping the porch and washing the wall. It seemed like I no more than finished, and it was time to get the turkey into the oven. It was certainly a Christmas Eve that I won’t forget in a long time.”

About this time, Howey makes his entrance from the bedroom. He was fresh out of the shower but still feeling the effects of the party. We greeted him, but Holley didn’t have much to say to him.

The dinner was excellent, as was expected from a cook like Holley. But with Holley shooting visual darts at Howey all through dinner, there was more than a bit of chill in the air. 

Kurt and I made a pretty quick exit following dinner.

Photo by Clarence Nishihara, South Korea, 1966.

Book #6, It’s a Hard Job Being a Kitten


I tried to have this book available for Christmas giving.

That was sidelined when my proofreader was sick for nearly two weeks and then I was in the hospital for 5 days. But the proofread copy is now available for purchase on Amazon. The ebook will probably be available after the holidays, at least by the middle of January. It will be the middle of January before I will have copies available locally.